


Literary Criticism

by iamtyping98



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Conjunx Endura, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Literature, M/M, Reading, Relationship Discussions, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtyping98/pseuds/iamtyping98
Summary: Megatron insults one of Optimus's favorite books and a brief argument ensues.
Relationships: Megatron/Optimus Prime
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	Literary Criticism

“Optimus, for spark’s sake, I said I was sorry!”

The Prime said nothing in return, only gave a ‘hmph’ noise, before returning to his reading. 

“Don’t you ‘humph’ me,” Megatron growled, nudging against him. “Will you just take the mask down so we can talk about this?”

Blue optics tilted up to narrow at their owner’s conjunx. 

“No. If I take it down, you’ll just try to kiss me.”

“So? What’s wrong with wanting to kiss my spouse?”

“What’s wrong is that I’m busy being mad at you and if you kiss me you’ll ruin it.”

Megatron looked as if he was about to give a biting retort, when he suddenly paused. His faceplates shifted into a sly grin.

“Is that so? Can’t resist me, can you?”

“Humph.”

Optimus turned and got off the berth, continuing to read his datapad as he walked. He left their shared habsuite headed for the rec area, his partner following close behind. 

“You  _ do  _ realize that you’re being dramatic, don’t you?” Megatron grunted as the two made their way down the hall. “All I said was that  _ ‘Fortuity’  _ isn’t a very good novel.”

“Correction!” Optimus stopped in his tracks to glare at him. “You described it as pretentious, sentimental drivel,  _ despite  _ the fact that I told you it’s one of my favorites and that I’d rather you kept your opinion to yourself!”

Megatron crossed his arms. “Well that’s really on you for asking for something so unrealistic. I mean when have ever been able to hold back on my opinions?”

“One would think that after a few million years of functioning you could at least try!” Optimus grunted, stomping off once more.

He reached the rec room, where a few other bots were shooting pool, while Perceptor was behind the bar prepping drinks. Optimus gave a polite nod and wave to the others before taking a seat in one of his favorite couches near the window that gave them a pleasant view of the stars beyond their ship. It was really a peaceful setting, with the gentle lighting on board and the swirling cosmos beyond (as well as Cosmos himself, who waved at Optimus from where he was drifting by). 

Of course, a cranky former Decepticon demanding kisses could disrupt even the most peaceful of scenes, and Megatron certainly did when he plopped down and pressed his face up against Optimus’s mask.

“Kiss me.”

“No.”

_ “Kiss me.” _

_ “No.” _

“We have to kiss and make up; that’s how this works. How can we do the second step if you don’t let me carry out the first?”

“That is a figurative expression and you know it.”

“Not with me it isn’t!”

“Tramp.”

“Drama queen.”

“Uh, I came to bring you some drinks, but…”

The squabbling pair looked up to see Perceptor had come over and was offering them each an engex blend. The two both looked properly ashamed at their argument intruding upon the other’s nicety, and the both dipped their heads and thanked him as they took the cubes. Perceptor smiled in an understanding fashion (bickering between lovers wasn’t uncommon, especially not on their ship) and left while the two took sips of their drinks.

“Mmm!” Megatron hummed appreciatively. “I think there’s a hint of limestone there.”

“Just a twist, yes,” Optimus concurred as he happily went for a second sip. 

After a moment they sighed, contented, and both took a moment to look over and appreciate the view of the outside, watching the planets and asteroids drift by. For a few moments, there was silence between them, until Megatron broke it by shifting slightly.

“Did what I said really offend you so?”

Optimus gave a small sigh and set his datapad down, putting the cube on a nearby table. “No, not really. It’s more just that I asked you not to comment on it, yet you did anyway. I know you don’t like the romance genre–”

The silver mech interrupted quickly, saying, “Oh no, I do! Quite a lot actually. Only that it tends to be so very poorly written. I like romance as much as the next mech, I’m just picky about it.”

“So it’s not the genre, then, you just think this book is trash?”

“Well....”

Megatron took heed of the warning look in Optimus’s optics. 

“You can think what you want,” the Prime said, “but that doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud. And if you do, well, can’t you do more than insult it? Like, maybe give some legitimate criticism?”

Megatron tilted his helm. “Normally when we talk literary criticism it’s over politics or philosophy. Not a romance novel about two idiots who bumped into each other  _ once  _ and decided they were ‘meant to be.’” 

Optimus raised an optic ridge. “What, you don’t believe in fate?”

“Of course not. Anything that happens in this life is determined by our own actions. Regardless of what some glowing rock tells you,” he added, poking at the seam between Optimus’s windshield. 

“But don’t you think there are some things that are meant to happen?”

“The way to determine if something was meant to happen is simple: did it happen? Then it was meant to. If not, then it wasn’t.”

“So then you’d agree that the main characters getting together was meant to be? It did happen after all.”

Red optics went rolling in exasperation. “Yes, I supposed, but again it was their choice. They carried it out themselves; well, them and the author. But basing all of that on one intense look across a crowded street is just nonsense.”

“For someone who dislikes this book so much, you seem to know it intimately.”

“Trust me, it is not out of choice.”

“Care to elaborate?”

Megatron bit his lip and glanced around, ensuring that no one nearby was paying much attention to them, before leaning over and whispering in his partner’s audial, “Back when I was a gladiator I was part of a group dedicated to the appreciation of the written word."

Optimus blinked, taking that in. Then a smile creeped up behind his battle mask.

“So you were in a book club?”

“I-! ...yes.”

“Aww!”

“Don’t aww me! We were fierce warriors who just happened to need a little intellectual stimulation from time to time. That was actually how I got a hold of my first philosophy books, which got me writing my own, and the rest is history.”

Optimus could easily picture that — a young gladiator, forced to do nothing but fight, taking refuge in the words of mechs who spoke to his processor and his spark, understanding his plight despite never having met him. It was a sad, yet endearing image.

“Well, if you’ve been in a book club, then you should know how to properly discuss literature rather than just tearing it down at random, hm?” Optimus didn’t have to part his mask for Megatron to know that he was smirking. 

“Alright, alright. If I promise to give Fortuity proper criticism rather than random insults, would you be willing to discuss it with me?”

“I most certainly would!” Optimus replied, and without flourish, he retracted his mask and leaned forward to give Megatron a quick peck on the lips. The ex-warlord had little time to react but managed to kiss back just in time before Optimus leaned away again, picking the datapad back up and shifting so that they could both look at it.

Unbeknownst to them, Starscream and his trine were currently entering the rec room and at the sight of the pair of leaders curled on the couch together, the seeker cringed.

“Ugh. Must they act like sickening lovebots even in public?”

“Aw, lay off ‘em Star,” Thundercracker chided. “After 10 million years of war I think we’re all due for a little kiss n’ cuddle, yknow?” 

“Humph,” Starscream replied as he went to join TC and Skywarp at the pool table. He briefly glanced at the pair again and, though he’d never admit it, gave a small half smile.

“One thing’s certain,” he said, “those two idiots were meant for each other.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just liked the image of Megatron trying to get a kiss from Optimus but Op keeping his mask up cuz he's grumpy at him, and it turned into a short fluff fic. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
